I want to visit friends, but am afraid I will be a burden, they don't want to hear about my depression I feel.
I hide it and try to smile. That's why I value my own space so much even if it means sacrificing other things so I can cry in private at least.
Sometime people see through it, but I feel they can't help and I don't want to bring anyone else down. Talking can help, but only with the right person.
I don't know a whole lot about depression, but I would think you really shouldn't isolate yourself. Yet, I understand perfectly how you would want to have your space and not "bring others down" as you alluded to.
Some time has passed since your posting and I am sure you are doing much better. Here is always a good place to be around people and not have to worry about bringing them down.
It's still hard as people don't really understand and I can't bring myself to return emails when al I have is doom and gloom to report. I feel bad, so I avoid responding but am aware I should respond.
The same is when people text me, I just can't be cheery and witty so I avoidance is easier for me.
I too have lived this life and know how awful it can be. Friends and family don't understand and you can just feel alone. I have a particular friend who says that I am lazy and that depression just isn't the problem and then she goes on to attack my character. I have had to close ties with that person because I felt like I was being brought down even more. Like Alexia, I found that avoidance of people was just easier and the best answer for me, but then I felt even more alone because I deep down wanted them there, I just wasn't in a good place.
Depression is a chemical imbalance but some refuse to see it that way and think you are just making excuses. I have a strong desire to be happy. I would love to go out with my friends and just get to a place where I feel like the weight of the world isn't on my shoulders. I have good days and I have bad, but with medication and finding someone to talk to I see myself slowly getting better.
I have my good and bad days. I do my beast to hide it from others because I have found that most people just don't care or they just figure you can snap out of it. I put on a happy face when I am out with others even though in the inside I am struggling.
Hiding your depression will only make things worse. Of course, there are some people out there who are better kept in the dark about your issues. That's totally fine. But it also screams that you don't trust them, so you probably shouldn't meet very often. Those relationships are based on faking one another. They are wrong.
However, if you have any people you actually trust in... you can tell them the truth. There's no point in lying to those ones who care about you.
I have been hiding my depression from my family Mostly because they have no idea what it is like to have such a bad mental health issue. They don't even know what depression means and just how bad it is. When I have said something I got very negative remarks from them.
Don't isolate yourself. I know how you might be feeling but you should put some effort to email your friends. There might be some of them who will surely listen to your problems. If you are very much depressed then I would suggest you to go for a counseling. It might be of some help for you.