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RA making me feel lonely this holiday season
Hi everyone, I am all alone this season and feeling pretty miserable. I am homebound due to the pain and stiffness. I have been flaring for 3 weeks or so and the rest of my family lives one state away so I am going to be all by myself. What is worse is that my few friends in the area have been "too busy" to get together. I feel like they are ignoring me and it is making me feel rather depressed. I don't know why I am suddenly the pariah. I have sat for their kids when they wanted days off, I have made cakes for birthdays. I guess it might be because I have been in such rough shape got months but it sure feels awful.

I am having trouble getting up in the morning even without the pain and stiffness.

So sorry that you are alone on the holidays. I lost some friends as the disease progressed for me. I think that it is a good test of the character of people you know if they are willing to accept and support you through adversity. I know this is small consolation now, but some people are 'takers' by nature and never give. They don't have empathy. You are better off without them.

Thanks for answering. I know what they are doing is negative and that I will have to be the better person on this, but it is still hard to learn. I have not asked much of them and I believe that I have given a lot. It is even harder as my husband passed away just two years ago.

Over the years, I have learned that rather than having no empathy, some people just can't handle to see suffering that they cannot fix. My father would always turn off the television when he saw the starving children advertisements. He always seemed annoyed and I thought he just hated the people asking for money. Then one time when he was a little tipsy after a few drinks, he started talking about the problems of the world. At one point he talked about how starvation had to be the most horrible situation and how sad it was to see in children. I was very surprised but realized that some people are just inhibited when it comes to handling their emotions.

In your case, you might get along better with some of your friends by putting on a brave face instead of sharing your troubles as much as you are. Consider it a way for you to accommodate their disability.

I do hope you feel better as the holiday season progresses.

That is an interesting perspective alicejn962 . I had never thought about it that way. I have always had deep conversations with my friends so I never thought about holding much back. It would feel strange to communicate this way. Thanks for the different perspective.

Your welcome.

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